Depression is not something I have talked about openly before, other than with my husband. I go into more detail in the book I am working on but I am also easing into sharing my life with the world through social media before the book is released into the world.
I was never professionally diagnosed because I hid it and didn’t want help with it other than my own self medication through drugs and alcohol in my teens and early 20’s. I’m 38 now. My first suicidal thought was in kindergarten. It progressed as I grew older and I probably spent roughly 20 years of my life as an adolescent, teenager and into my 20’s where suicidal consideration was part of my daily thought life no matter how many smiles I put on.
When I rededicated my life to Christ at age 28, that stronghold over my life was broken. It no longer consumed me. However, there have been times since then when the enemy has tried to get me back into old thought habits but I have the Word of God to stand on and use it every time. The last couple of weeks have been trying and I felt the enemy trying to drag me back into a state of depression. I prayed through because I am able to recognize what it is and God always answers that call. Jesus took that stripe on the cross.
I’m not writing my story because I want to, I’m writing my story because God asked me to. There is someone who needs it. There is someone who needs to know they aren’t alone. You always have options. You always have hope. Reach out to someone. Pray and ask God for help. I’m a living testimony of His Word and if He will do it for me, He will do it for you. YOU ARE LOVED.