Depression is not something I have talked about openly before, other than with my husband. I go into more detail in the book I am working on but I am also easing into sharing my life with the world through social media before the book is released into the world.
I was never professionally diagnosed because I hid it and didn’t want help with it other than my own self medication through drugs and alcohol in my teens and early 20’s. I’m 38 now. My first suicidal thought was in kindergarten. It progressed as I grew older and I probably spent roughly 20 years of my life as an adolescent, teenager and into my 20’s where suicidal consideration was part of my daily thought life no matter how many smiles I put on.
When I rededicated my life to Christ at age 28, that stronghold over my life was broken. It no longer consumed me. However, there have been times since then when the enemy has tried to get me back into old thought habits but I have the Word of God to stand on and use it every time. The last couple of weeks have been trying and I felt the enemy trying to drag me back into a state of depression. I prayed through because I am able to recognize what it is and God always answers that call. Jesus took that stripe on the cross.
I’m not writing my story because I want to, I’m writing my story because God asked me to. There is someone who needs it. There is someone who needs to know they aren’t alone. You always have options. You always have hope. Reach out to someone. Pray and ask God for help. I’m a living testimony of His Word and if He will do it for me, He will do it for you. YOU ARE LOVED.
A side project I completed last week…poetry broadsides.
You can purchase a Limited First Edition, signed/numbered poetry broadside digital print, with a Letter of Authenticity, through my ETSY store. Click the link or image below. There you can read through the five available poems. Only ten of each are up for grabs.
The third workbook in the Bible Study series is now available through Amazon and you can order it here.
This one is on Ephesians and titled Growing in Christ.
The next workbook will be on 1 Corinthians and I hope to have it available no later than the beginning of July. I have a few projects going on right now and there is one taking a front burner to the others at the moment. Once that task is complete I’ll be able to jump back on the workbooks.
In the meantime, thanks for reading and following along. I hope you are blessed by the workbooks.
Scribble. Scribble. Scribble.
It seems like lately I’ve been doing a lot of scribbling but all of my scribbles come together into greater works so I’m okay with that.
I try to post here once a month as to what is going on in my writing world. Currently I am finishing up a 3rd Bible study workbook, compiling a 365 day devotional, editing my manuscript for my first creative non-fiction book and working on some prints for my poetry to soon be up in my Etsy store. I like to keep it simple.
More importantly, I wanted to make everyone aware of another blog I post to daily. It’s part of my ministry and I post Monday – Friday. It is there that I talk about all different things, in fact, the tag line is Everyday Christian Living. I don’t candy coat things either. It’s real stuff, real struggles, real revelations.
I encourage you to follow me over there as well at www.mcubedministries.com
I promise you’ll laugh, sometimes you may cry, but most of all you will see that Christians are people too and we all go through the same struggles.
To my fellow writers, keep on keeping on!
Saturday I spent the day at Chatt State for the Chattanooga Writer’s Guild workshop. Great info. Great networking. Lots of useful tips and tricks. I chose the business track to help me determine which publishing route I want to take with my first creative non-fiction novel and am 99% positive I’m going the self-publishing route. It was a blessing to hear the speakers (Grace Beam-spoke about business planning, Alyssa McGowan-editor at Red Pen for Rent, and Ashley Wright-digital media coordinator for the Southern Standard Newspaper). All phenomenol ladies. I was also encouraged in that many of the things I am already doing are the right things to be doing. *whew*
If you are a writer, I encourage you to get involved in your local writer’s guild or critique groups. Go to some workshops and check them out. Talk with people. It will help spur your imagination and keep your creative thoughts fresh. If you don’t have a local guild ask at your local library if they know of any critique groups or writer’s groups that meet up. If not, you could always start one! Write on!
The second in the series of Bible study workbooks I have been creating is now available through Amazon. You can purchase here.
It is titled 1 & 2 Timothy: The Heart of a Servant and explores many difficult topics. Keep in mind these workbooks are surface studies. I strongly encourage further study in each topic outside of the workbooks. These are meant to stir up the things of God in your heart and encourage you to delve deeper into the Word.
Most of my contact with friends and family are through social media due to the “busy-ness” and distance between all our lives. How and why did we become so busy? As a kid, my family spent the weekends visiting other family or them visiting our house. Weekday evenings too. We were always with someone. None of us had an exorbitant amount of money. None of us were too busy to hang out. We shared meals, stories, and time. I find myself these days thinking about the many things I’m supposed to be doing or working on when I am spending time with others and it makes me sick. Simply sick. How did we, as a society, lose ourselves? We have taken the personality out of our lives by becoming too personal. We have become selfish. We find our time too precious to share with others. We find our endeavors more important than people. I’m guilty. You are guilty. We are all guilty. How do we fix it? I don’t know. I don’t know how to make my bills go away. I don’t know how to make the deadlines stop. I don’t know how to put more hours in my day. However, I do know how to make an effort. I know how to empathize with others. I know how to cry with those who are crying. I know how to laugh with those who are laughing. I scroll through newsfeeds and see the hurt, the pain, the loneliness of those I love and what can I do? I gather it all up like a small child told to pick up their toys and put them back in the toybox except I go before the throne of God, drop it all in front of Him, and yell and point, “This! What do I do?” He smiles at me with His grace. He looks at me as I drop to my knees, head down in desperation, and he says “My child…this. This is what you do.” It’s at His feet I carry the things that are too heavy for others. It’s at His feet where I have reached my limit. It’s at His feet I find His grace more than any pain I have yet to endure. It’s at His feet I find rest. It’s at His feet, I carry all of you with me.
Romans 12:15-18 (KJV)
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.